How To Make Thousand Island Dressing

Every now and then when I stop to think about it I wonder why ketchup is so much more popular than thousand island dressing. As far as I'm concerned thousand island is much more flavorful, and works on just about everything ketchup works on. Any fast food place that brags about their "secret sauce" is really talking about thousand island. (Oops, now it's not a secret any more.) One of my favorite uses -- and the one that gets the strangest looks -- is to use it instead of duck sauce with egg rolls. Mmmmmmm.

If you look carefully and shop around you may be able to find a brand that isn't mostly canola oil and corn syrup. But if you can't find a good one, this recipe is just what you need. It's way better than any bottled brand I've had, and only takes a couple of minutes to make a batch.

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Ingredients

2 cups mayonnaise

Mayonnaise

2 extra large eggs
1-1/2 cups olive pomace oil
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon mustard powder

2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup diced onion
1/4 cup diced pickle (sweet, dill, or combination)
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1 extra large egg, hard boiled (optional)

Directions

Dice the onion.



Dice the pickle. If you have small ones, cut them in quarters ...



... and chop several at once.



For larger pickles, you may want to cut out the seeds before dicing the rest.

Set the onion and pickle aside. This is for your mise en place.




Mince the garlic.



If you're making the mayonnaise from scratch, put the eggs, white vinegar, mustard powder and oil in your mixing cup in that order. Put the stick blender all the way to the bottom, turn it on and slowly pull it up to the top. Don't worry if it's not thick enough for a sandwich, this is going to be in dressing.



Rather than get the food processor dirty, add the onion, pickle, garlic, tomato paste and balsamic vinegar to the cup the mayo was in.







Process it with the stick blender -- it doesn't have to be very smooth -- then add it to the mayo and stir.



Check the taste and add black pepper if needed.



And that's it. You could eat this by itself, it's so good.



One extra touch is to add a diced hard-boiled egg.

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Regular readers might notice I did lettuce yesterday and salad dressing today. You might think that means I'll be doing some kind of salad in the next day or two. That's very observant of you. But I'll be you don't expect taco salad.

Okay, now you expect taco salad. This is another one of those "delicious but not pretty enough for company" recipes. Why do we do that? Have favorite recipes that we won't serve to guests? I've never understood that. If you have any recipes that you like, but you won't serve to guests -- or your wife won't let you serve it to them -- post it in the comments. I'm thinking about doing a collection of "Too Good for Company" recipes.

How To Make Chili Sauce For Chili Dogs

With apologies to Samuel Clemens, the difference between a hot dog and a chili dog is like the difference between a lightning-bug and the lightning. A hot dog is something you eat because you're hungry. A chili dog is a meal. But, just like most canned foods, the chili you get in a can isn't worth the time it takes to toss it in the microwave. (Oh, umm ... don't actually toss the can in the microwave. That's not what I meant. That would be bad.)

This chili is not the same as what you'd put on nachos, or eat on its own. First the primary flavor is onion, not tomato or pepper. Second, and more important, is that the meat has to be broken up much finer than normal chili. It has to be chopped fine enough to spread almost like a condiment.

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Ingredients

1 pound ground beef
1 large onion (about one pound)
1/2 cup chili powder (or chile powder [1])
6 tablespoons tomato paste
salt and fresh ground black pepper, to taste

Directions

Brown the ground beef with a few teaspoons of salt over high heat, making sure to crumble it very small.



That tool I'm using was a gift from my wife. When she gave it to me, I really wanted it to not work. I hate single-purpose kitchen tools, and the only thing this is good for is breaking up ground beef. But boy, does it work for that. My chili dogs were always lumpy before I started using this thing. (See that honey? You were right. Thanks for buying it for me.)

While the beef is browning, dice the onion. Add it to the beef ...



... mix it in, and cook until the onion is soft.



Add the tomato paste.



If you're wondering about why it looks like that, I stored the leftovers from the onion ring dipping sauce by freezing it in an ice cube tray. One tablespoon per cube -- yes, I measured -- makes it super convenient.

And if you notice that's not six tablespoons' worth up in the ingredients picture (very observant of you), that's because the last time I did this recipe it was with tomato sauce instead of paste. I wasn't sure how much I was going to need.

Add the chili powder.



Add enough water to dissolve the paste and stir well. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, for about five minutes.



And that's it. Now make your hot dog and/or hot sausage.



No, that picture has nothing to do with the recipe. I'm just showing off my mad grillin' skillz. Here's some more:





Man, I love the return of spring.

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1 "Chile powder" is a single type of chile pepper, dried and ground. "Chili powder" is chile powder plus other spices, usually cumin, salt, garlic and others.

How To Make Onion Ring Dipping Sauce

I won't say this is exactly like the sauce at either Outback Steakhouse or Burger King. Why would I, they're both chain restaurants? That's not setting the bar very high. This is better than either of those, and made with better ingredients. (Funny how those two things always seem to show up together.)

This is based on a Russian dressing recipe. In fact it's exactly the Russian dressing recipe, except with added horseradish. You can also check out the recipe for onion rings. The recipes for the chili sauce and Dijon mustard will be coming soon.

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Ingredients

3/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1 egg yolk
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon chili sauce
1 tablespoon prepared horseradish
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 ounce onion, diced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper

Directions

This one's going to be really easy. Separate the egg and add the yolk and vinegar to a tall, narrow container. The skinniest one your immersion blender will fit into. (Hopefully yours came with a cup, like mine did.) Blend it until it's smooth. Add the oil and blend again.



Depending on the oil you used, and the speed of your blender, this might turn into mayonnaise. I've seen plenty of videos of people doing mayo exactly this way, but mine always stays a bit too thin to be a proper mayo. I suspect it's because I'm using extra virgin olive oil, but I don't know for sure. If you've got any tips on this one, please share in the comments.

Anyway, whether you've got mayo or still just a thin sauce, add all the rest of the ingredients and process again until smooth.



And that's it.

How To Make Pizza Sauce From Scratch

Part of cooking from scratch is knowing just how "from scratch" it needs to be to feel good about what you're making. The other part is knowing where to buy the parts you're not going to make for yourself. This time it was getting a pizza crust from Alesci's and doing the sauce from scratch.

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Ingredients

28 ounces (one large can) crushed tomatoes
1 cup diced onion
2 tablespoons basil pesto
2 tablespoons dried oregano (3 tablespoons fresh)
1 clove garlic (two if they're small)
2 teaspoons kosher salt

Directions

Start out by dicing the onion ...



... and mincing the garlic.



Heat some fat in a pan over medium heat -- butter, olive oil, or like I did, rendered bacon fat.



Sauté the onion until it just starts to turn clear ...



... then add the garlic and keep stirring until the garlic starts to get darker, but not brown.



Add the tomatoes ...



... and the pesto and oregano.



Simmer over medium heat for about 15 minutes, stirring frequently, until the sauce is warmed through.



Remove the pan from heat and blend with an immersion blender (AKA stick blender) until the sauce is smooth.



If you used a large pot, like I did, you'll need to tip it up to keep the end of the blender submerged. Otherwise you'll spray tomato sauce all over the stove ... the wall next to the stove ... the front of your shirt ... If you've read any of my other posts there's a good chance you've seen the phrase, "Don't ask how I know this."

Once it's smooth, put one large ladle full on the crust ...



... and have your daughters spread it around.



Wait, hold on, back up. Doesn't that title up top say "How To Make Pizza Sauce From Scratch"? And I don't see any "pizza crust" in the ingredients list. What's up with that?

Yeah, well, a picture of a bowl of tomato sauce would be pretty boring. So I helped the girls make the pizza and included the rest of the steps here.

So ... have the girls spread about a half-pound of shredded mozzarella and provolone cheese (Alesci's sells a 50/50 mix).



Make sure the cheese goes right up to the edge, but not over. You don't want it melting and dripping over into the inside of the oven.



Have the girls add whatever toppings they want. In this case, pepperoni on half, the other half plain cheese.



Think about how you're going to cut it -- six cut, eight cut, etc. -- and make sure the toppings are evenly distributed.



Bake at 450° for 15-20 minutes, until the cheese is bubbling and starting to get just a little brown around the edges.



And that's it.